On not knowing what to write...
To finding plenty to write about, for example, that I'd destroyed 18 paintings?
‘Not to want to say, not to know what you want to say, not to be able to say what you think you want to say, and never to stop saying, or hardly ever, that is the thing to keep in mind, in the heat of composition’ – Samuel Beckett
I will be honest, sometimes, when I sit to write these posts, I have no idea what I am going to write about… There are weeks when something interesting has happened; work has progressed, an event has taken place, a lesson has been learnt or I have been somewhere, anywhere, for example, and then I know what I am going to write about and what I want to say. Other weeks, especially this year, I literally have no idea…even though, according to Mark Twain,
‘Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.’
and, even if, by some miracle, I have made a start, I have written the wrong words…
‘It’s perfectly okay to write garbage – as long as you edit brilliantly,’ – C. J. Cherryh
'In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.
For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.
It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.
Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.
Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.
Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world awaits you.'
For a New Beginning - John O'DonohueAnd it’s much the same with my art; sometimes I don’t know what I want my work to say or be, or where I want it to go…but I know that I have to make a ‘beginning’…or I will stagnate, the work will cease to develop. Every time I grab that larger sheet of paper it feels like a new beginning…
I love that idea of ‘unfurling myself into the grace of beginning…stepping onto new ground…’, each sheet an eager recipient of splatters and puddles of paint, swooshes of ink or trails and wanderings of crayons… And I am becoming more comfortable with the knowledge that not every sheet will be a ‘masterpiece’; I just know that some of my ‘beginnings’ will be destined for the collage box …and, although it has taken me a long time, I am finally okay with that!
Each sheet is waiting to teach me lessons; how much paint and water to splash onto the surface, how much ‘dabbing’ and scraping it will stand, how much is too much granulation fluid, what colour combinations I like or don’t like, how to obtain soft layers of washes, how much scribble is too much scribble – I could go on – and, once the materials have helped to shift my work those few steps forward, the paper, with all its splodges and puddles, drips and trails, impressions and marks moves onto the next stage of its usefulness.
And something else that I am also finally okay with, is taking the steps at my pace, developing the work as I like – and not worrying about what other people think too much…
‘Do you know what happens
when you decide to stop worrying about
about what other people might think of you?
You get to dance. You get to sing.
You get to laugh loudly, paint, write, and create.
You get to be yourself…’
Doe Zantamata
‘Trusting in myself’, along with ‘progress before perfection’, are two mantras I’m trying to incorporate into my mindset this year…
'She rises before the world
Has opened its sleepy eyes.
With a tangerine kiss
She whispers good morning
In colours that gently
Break a new day.'
Rise - Brianna Schenkelberg
In order to make space for new work, I’m continuing to de-clutter, and this week I decided to see if my ‘actual’ inventory matched my Excel spreadsheet inventory. Did it? Not a chance; I couldn’t find some work at all in the studio, some paintings I’d listed twice - under different names - and there were quite a few, lots in fact, that were all mounted and framed, ready to go, but, for whatever reason, I hadn’t gotten around to uploading them to my website. I definitely need a better system!! I destroyed 18 old paintings that I felt no longer served me - after making a note of anything I learned from the making. Boy did it feel good to let go of them!! I also rediscovered ‘older’ works - and was reminded of the joy they brought me, and still do…
Top Row - Left to Right:
Cei Bach (SOLD)
Bottom Row - Left to Right:
There Lives the Echo of the Sea
Blustery Dale
(I’ve included links to the ones listed on my website …but if would like further information on any work of mine, please don’t hesitate to drop me a message…
Other things that have brought me joy this week:
“A Thousand Feasts” by Nigel Slater. Now, I’m a big fan of Nigel Slater; his uncomplicated recipes, his beautifully filmed television shows…and his writing. This book is an absolute joy from beginning to end.
Following on from last week’s Instagram recommendation, here’s another artist, whose style and mark making caught my eye…
I’ve enjoyed gardening guru ‘Monty Don’s British Gardens’ series over on BBC 2 - not sure overseas readers will be able to access the link..apologies..
I’ve been checking out the YouTube videos of artist Anna Mabella Edgley…always fascinating watching other artists at work!
There’s been some glorious blue sky days; the rose hued sunrises have been fabulous on my early morning walks. And it’s quite noticeable how the daylight is nibbling away at the dark…
This ‘Could-do list for January’ by Aimée Francis: okay I know it’s actually February, but acknowledging the fact I’m slowly working my way into 2025, and skipping over the Burns night event, most of these suggestions would be great at any time of the year!
“Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.”
Brené Brown
In honour of Brené Brown, here’s my list of ordinary moments:
my first sip of coffee, watching the steam curl upwards
indigo nights, scattered stars, distant planets
soft apricot sunrises
geese - a skein across the sky
a flickering candle flame
books, waiting to be read
a neat and tidy sock drawer - what can I say?
pulling on my boots, expectant
a bottle of Kandahar black drawing ink
raspberry & oat muffins, warm
bright green moss, brittle copper beech leaves
the promise of a blank sheet of paper
Until next time, happy creating,
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jkv.
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