When I Tell Myself I’m Not Talented Enough!

The frustrations of slow growth & getting 'crickets'.

“At last came the golden month of the wild folk — honey-sweet May, when the birds come back, and the flowers come out, and the air is full of the sunrise scents and songs of the dawning year.”
— Samuel Scoville Jr

At last, the weather is providing tantalising glimpses. In between seemingly never-ending rain, (& hail!!), there are periods of blue skies. And, ignoring mornings when frost covers the ground, it’s beginning to feel slightly warmer…Well, okay, probably only by one or two degrees! But there’s a hint of glorious frothy clouds of cow parsley, & bird song, chattering across the fields. Flowers bravely unfurling in earlier gloom, are now luxuriating in the rising temperatures; apple blossom, early clematis, ceanothus…a Mexican orange blossom bush….aquilegias, their granny’s bonnets dancing in the wind. It’s such a hopeful time of year. One of growth & abundance - & not just for Mother Nature. There’s a sense that, now wintering & hibernation is over, I should be moving into a period of expansion.

Essentials for Growth

proper rest 
more learning 
build new habits 
consistent honesty 
let go of old stories 
say no to old patterns 
ready to act in new ways
 believe that you can change
say yes to supportive people

yung pueblo

I’m doing my best to address all of the above, but in the interests of ‘consistent honesty’, well, goodness, let’s just say it can be a little tiring & frustrating! Looking at it from a purely ‘business’ viewpoint, there are days, weeks even, when, after I’ve:

• begun a website review, adding alt text to images etc (isn’t that just one of the most boring of jobs….?)

• regularly posted on YouTube

• been consistent with my Substack posts/responding to comments

• regularly posted and interacted on social media

• continued my art practice

• spent time planning

• spent time researching best practice, both creative and business

• promoted work for sale

I could go on, but I thought that was probably enough… but even after all that, I just get mostly ‘crickets’; I feel as if I’m sending it all out into a void (not discounting all of the lovely support & responses I do receive, thank you).

And that’s when it becomes so easy to fall back on old habits & tell myself that I’m just not talented enough…

I know that every person who I perceive as being successful, has worked damned hard for it. I know I’m probably further on in my art journey than many people; I have had successes, for which I’m very grateful. I know that you have to create your own opportunities, to make your own luck. I know that I will get ‘there’. But sometimes, just sometimes, wouldn’t it be great to receive a little dusting of magic?.

Am I alone in wanting this? Am I being impatient in wanting an ‘easy win’? Or am I just being selfish & greedy?

In the art mentoring group that I belong to, it’s an accepted notion that we’re ‘in it for the long haul’. Wouldn’t you like to fly short haul just for once?

Unfortunately, I’m not here with any answers; I haven’t found the magic formula. If I had, I would bottle it, and give it to you all!

Until then, I will just have to rely on one of my traits; stubbornness. Or should I call it ‘perseverance’? And the one big thing I have to remember is that I love painting and writing, and building a community!

“With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.”

Thomas Fowell Buxton

Fingers crossed this turns out to be true!!

(By the way, I do realise this is a bit of a ‘first world’ problem’… Maybe I should be bold and think of one thing that scares me, in the business sense, and then just go and do it. Perhaps that’s a way of re-framing my mindset; thinking positive and making opportunities? What’s one thing that you could do for/in your art/business that scares you?)

One thing I find myself doing a lot, is responding to enquiries about the materials I use. To that end, I filmed this YT video where I discuss some of the media that I use…

On a positive note, I’ve finally finished ‘Side One’ of my most recent concertina sketchbook. Here’s an update - along with a preamble about the area I live in, and is the inspiration behind this book…Ooh, and keep a listen for a new word I made up…!

And talking of being inspired by the landscape, some things that have caught my attention this week:

• Jacksons’ Art ‘Tips for Landscape Painting on Location’

• The beautiful watercolours of Steve Redpath…

• Discovering the stunning Haystack Rock and Cannon Beach via Michele Boyer’s ‘Where in the World’ Substack post…

• Looking forward to a trip to Scotland

Until next time, keep plugging away!